monsters

Today started out as an ordinary day: wake up and realize I had hit the snooze button, one too many times because <gasp!> the 8 month old was still snoozing. As were the rest of my little family. I jump out of bed and announce "time to get up, we're going to be late!". Our last name does start with L and I often refer to our tardiness as "running on L time" aka Larson time. I know. I HATE being late and try to avoid it. So, as I rush the morning showers, toast "home made" waffles (HA!), make the coffee (ahem…push a button), dress the kids-making sure they're presentable. Chris takes Ellie to school every morning, on his way to work. I kiss both of them goodbye, tell them I love them, and to have a great day.

Today, Pooh and I had a play date. My friend came over with her little girl, the kids would play, she and I would craft. Win-win. Little did we know, as we compared stories about our adventures in parenting, vented about meltdowns, and laughed about some of the funny things our kids do to make our day…something horrible had happened in another little town. In a little school, like the one that Ellie goes to. Probably, in a class similar to hers. There had been a shooting in a kindergarten class, killing at least 20. 20 kids. It just sickens me to think how scared and confused they were. What their parents are going thru this very moment. My mothers heart aches. My first instinct was to rush to Ellie's school and pick her up. I held back. Instead I cried and hugged the babies I had with me. Then I packed them up and drove to the school and waited an hour until she was let out. I saw, as they went on to the playground, Ellie noticed me and waved and blew me kisses. Emotions rushed over me as I frantically waved back and said a prayer for those that are suffering from today's horrible tragedy, for the little souls that are now in Heaven, for their parents' loss, and for my own little angels.

We're planning on driving to Appleton tomorrow morning, to see Santa. It's become a family tradition and "Santa" now refers to us as "the little family from Rhinelander". We've been going since Ellie's first year. And now we have Evie. I'm excited because I got the girls matching tunic/dresses. Ellie and Pooh are excited to see Santa and to ask for a special gift.

As I was tucking them into bed, Pooh innocently stated: "mama, I afraid of monsers"
This has been going on for over a week now. He's been a little afraid of the dark and going upstairs by himself at night. I remember Ellie going thru the same thing. She's still a little apprehensive about being alone upstairs at night. So, I was a little surprised when big sister Ellie, quickly responded with: "Pooooh, there aren't any monsters. Right, mama?"
What did I say?…"of course not! There are NO such things as monsters."
And the whole time I am saying this, trying to convince my middle one and reassuring my oldest one…I am thinking, "yes. yes, there are monsters. And, I fear, I can't always keep you safe from them"