Ellie, Ellie, Ellie. I remember the first time the topic of getting married and
having children came up. You were in the back of the suburban, asking
how daddy and I met, "and then you got married? And then you had me?"
"Yes, yes," I explained how we met. How long we dated. How daddy
asked me to marry him and why I said yes. I started to explain the type of
qualities you want to look for in a man. But before I could even begin,
you stopped me dead in my tracks with your, "I'm NOT going to get
married. And I'm not going to have a baby." This topic would arise
from time to time over the past two years. Always the same response,
you are NOT going to get married and you are NOT going to have
children.
You are six years old and in kindergarten. You've been making
new friends and are constantly talking about them, one in
particular. Javier. At first, I joked to daddy, when I mentioned
this "Javier" that "his name is probably Billy and she decided
that Javier sounded better." I would hear how you two
would play during recess and what a good friend he is.
About a week before Christmas, you and I bumped into
Javier and his mom. He was all dressed up and getting his
Christmas picture taken. You introduced your mother to him,
all proud. He acted shy. You were a little forward. I was
a little concerned. You made me giggle. I teased you on
the way home, "sooooo, HHHHHavier, huh? He's
a little cutie. Is he nice?"
"MOMMMMM! (you sound a little irritated) He's my friend.
He's nice to me and I'm nice to him."
Remembering what you had said to a friend (about
kissing a certain boy), I decided to remind you
that you are way too young to have a boyfriend
and no hugging or kissing. You became embarrassed
and had to remind me that you are NOT getting married
or having children. Ever. To which, I quickly asked,
"not even if HHHHHavier were to ask you???"
"Alright, alright….maaaayybe if Javier asked me."
I died.
On the first day back, after your Christmas break, I'm
waiting for you to come out. As you walk towards me,
I notice that your coat is not zipped all the way and that it's
slightly open. You stop, right in front of me, with the biggest
smile on your face and you gush out, "mama, look what
Javier gave me-for being a really good friend."
And I see a necklace. I'm a little surprised.
"oh, my!" I say, "what a beautiful necklace. Does his
mother know he gave this to you??? Maybe it belongs to
her and he just took it?? Perhaps, you better ask him? Perhaps,
I should ask her??"
"mommmmm, he made me this necklace (getting a better look, I can
see it's a little charm on streatchy string), you state as you
take my hand and walk towards the suburban.
As I get behind the wheel, you also inform me that
this summer, you are suppose to meet Jake at the
Children's Museum.
Is it starting already? This being interested in boys?
You're only six…not sixteen. And I'm
not ready. I want to encourage you to
always come to me and talk about
EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. But I'm not
ready for you to talk about crushes. Thankfully, I
don't think we're quite there, yet. But
I continue to ask 100 questions because I'm curious and
you're my little girl and a boy gave you a
necklace. And I can mentally see myself questioning this six
year old boy: "So, Javier….what are your intentions???"
Daddy giggled and acted quite surprised. Tita asked, when
I phoned her, if he was Mexican because…well, there
aren't many up here.
I'm giggling also because, whether you know it or
not…you're not going to be dating until your way
over thirty.
|
this is one of my favorite pictures of you
I can start to see the little lady you are
becoming |