larson, party of five: pukefest 2013, you kicked my a$$ and made me cry

For some reason, it is always a bit difficult waking you kids up on the mornings you
have school. For some reason, it's not a problem for you kids to wake up before the
sun rises on the mornings you do NOT have school. Go figure.
This particular Saturday was no different. Ellie was the first to wake up, around 5:30

and Pooh woke up shortly afterwards. You both were excited because later in the
afternoon we were going to go to a friend's birthday party and there would be a
bounce house. I was still in bed when Ellie walked into the room and woke me up,
letting me know that she had just thrown up once but that she was alright and
could still go to the birthday party. Bounce house!! I quickly got up, felt her head,
no fever. Walked into the kitchen and noticed that she had indeed thrown up
once but had kept walking when she was throwing up. So, there were at least
three vomit "stations". I cleaned it up, disinfected the area, then steam mopped it up.
What? I have a toddler that crawls.

I inform Ellie that, no…no, we will not be going to the birthday party. That I'm
afraid she may have the stomach virus that is going around. She, of course, gets
all dramatic. That she had been coughing and that the cough made her throw up,
that she felt better. As I start to think that maybe she's not coming down with
anything, I find out that the baby had thrown up all over my bed.

Strip the sheets and start the laundry. Inform Ellie that no, no….we're not going
to the birthday party. She, of course is very upset to have to miss it and that I just suck.
Really?

And as she goes on insisting that she's fine, her face starts to get pale and her
eyes get glassy. She lays down on the couch, then abruptly rises up with this look.
A look a mother knows only too well. I run and grab a large bowl and just make it to
her in time as she hurls into it. I attempt to pull back her hair but it's no use. We
walk towards the shower and clean her up. She looks at me and says,

"I feel all better now" she really wants to go. But no…no, we're not going to the birthday
party. I get her dressed and throw towels across the couch, lay her down, and place
another bowl near her. Within minutes of doing this, Pooh had complained that
his stomach was hurting. I inquire if he feels sick or if he has to go potty. Potty.

As I'm comforting a fussy baby, a naked Pooh walks into the living room, holding
an iPad. He's gotten into the habit of "borrowing" it whenever he goes potty.
He walks up to me, handing the iPad over, explaining that he just "drew up on da iPad".
Which do I take care of first? Sick son? Vomit on the iPad? Vomit on the floor??
I set Evie down and I clean the iPad. As I'm walking from room to room, a crying
baby is crawling behind me. Oh! and daddy has already left for work

prior to Ellie getting sick. So, I'm doing this solo. I console Pooh, start the
shower for him and run to clean up the vomit from the bathroom as I see
Evie crawling from the bathroom, looking for me, trailing vomit behind her. Yup.
She crawled through Pooh's puke. I cried. Scoop her up and quickly undress her
and stick her in the shower with Pooh and clean them both up.

All three kids are showered and dressed in clean cozy clothes. I tackle the bathroom
and gag thru the whole thing. All this and it wasn't even noon yet. AND that was
only round one. Kids ended up vomiting thru out the day, followed by the
dreaded D. Ellie laid comatose on the couch, Pooh and Evie wanted to cling to me
and I wanted them on the other side of the room. I just did not want to get sick.
Because moms don't get sick days!

By the end of the evening, I had started feeling light headed, my stomach felt funny,
my joints ached…heck my flesh ached and all I wanted to do was pass out.